Toast
Someone should open a gimmicky bar called Toast. It'd be gimmicky because of the dual meaning, this bar would serve toasted bread instead of pretzels or peanuts. They'd have two of those industrial conveyor-belt toasters right on the bar, left and right of all the booze. One set to regular (the toast would fade gradually from untoasted to a rich golden brown) and one set to dark (some bits burned black). Light would be a custom request, though one happily honored (the bread would appear untoasted until touched). With every drink purchased, the patrons would be free to request a small ceramic plate topped with two buttered pieces of toast (toasted as much as the customer wanted, selected from a rotating list of available locally-baked breads, and buttered with real salted butter). Over time the bartender would learn to suggest certain kinds of toast to go with certain drinks, like wine with cheese. I'd go for sourdough with Guinness and seeded pumpernickel with Stella.
Wait a minute, am I the only person who likes warm toast with a cold beer?
Wait a minute, am I the only person who likes warm toast with a cold beer?
No, see, said bar would need to have toaster ovens that burn pictures into the toast--like the Hello Kitty model my mother graciously gave me for my bridal shower, infantilizing me to the death. It does rule though.
Once upon a time, Bob Elliot (father of actor Chris Elliot) and Ray Goulding were the hosts of a New York radio program which if you never heard of Bob & Ray is a little hard to describe.
They started in the 40s, and were hip and cult-popular enough to be selected as Saturday Nigh Live hosts in the early days of SNL. (http://www.radiohof.org/comedy/bobray.html)
Their show featured short comedy segments which included a running soap opera called "Mary Backstage, Noble Wife." And one of their regular mock-sponsors was a family restaurant called The House of Toast. Toast was all you could order, but you could decide whether to have it buttered "on the near side or the far side."
Those were the days...
There is a toast restaurant in Toronto, but I don't know if they are licensed to serve beer.... (it's a small place)
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